The Zuhud vs Anxiety

It’s 1:53 AM, and tomorrow is my second job test. I’m sitting here crying in the middle of the night, worrying about what tomorrow holds. Will I succeed? Can I do this? My mind keeps telling me I need something new, a way out of where I am right now. I’ve been reading the Quran, looking at quotes, reflecting on my future, and wondering what my life will look like in the years ahead.

I’ve talked to so many people about my fears, but none of it has helped. I’m still anxious. Then, the word ‘zuhud’ crossed my mind.

I realized I’ve been too attached to the dunya, thinking it’s bigger than it really is, which is why I’m so worried. I forgot that my future is in Allah’s hands. If this job is truly meant for me, why should I fear it? My path is already written.

I also realized that my thoughts have been consumed with dunya alone. I’ve forgotten how my Lord must feel seeing me so fixated on this world.

But deep down, I want to return. Return to Allah.

Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Allah will always grant what is best.

I trust him, totally.

Elsy