Navigating the Post-College Maze: A Guide to Finding Clarity Amidst Uncertainty
2023, I find myself at a crossroads, where I must make the right decisions for the next 10, 20, or perhaps even 30 years. Questioning, Should I work?, or return to my hometown with my parents, or pursue a master’s degree? Faced with these possibilities, I ultimately chose to enter the workforce. I applied to several companies, and the outcome? A staggering 70% rejection rate in the initial screening process. Therefore, in mid August 2023, I made the decision to return to my hometown in Gresik.
While I was in Gresik, I thought about several job applications that hadn’t gotten any replies. I started worrying about whether I’d find a job and if I might end up unemployed in Gresik. Everything felt overwhelming, especially seeing my friends on Instagram happily sharing their job successes. Feeling disrupted by it all, I ended up deactivating my second Instagram account. I began to experience the comfort of being close to my parents, yet, simultaneously, I felt the pressure of contributing economically to the family. I immersed myself in various Islamic rituals, hoping for a miracle. After two weeks in Gresik, I surrendered to the job search, finding solace in routine household chores and embracing a form of slow living that was surprisingly refreshing.
Unexpectedly, one day I got an email saying I moved on to the next job interview round with a company. But, at this point, my enthusiasm had faded because I had been thru a few interviews before that seemed to lead nowhere. Yet, another part of me wondered, ‘How if this company is my destiny?’ So, within two days, I delved into the study materials so hard while enjoying a short vacation with Ayah Ibuk (to keep the pressure at bay :) ). The day before the interview, I headed to Jakarta with a sense of surrender, mentally prepared for whatever outcome awaited me.
Cut to the day of the interview, my first face-to-face job interview conducted offline. As I was about to leave, a WhatsApp notification chimed in, HR informed me that the final interview, initially planned offline for that day, would now take place online. Suddenly, everything became more manageable and easier. I headed to the campus library to study, turning the initially daunting 1.5-hour journey into valuable preparation time. In short, the interview day came, and surprisingly, I answered all the technical questions. But it was a quick interview, making me wonder if the interviewer was not interested. She said this company would let me know the result in two weeks, so I had to stay in Depok during that time. Once again, I already “Ikhlas” and trying to show my Tawakkal for whatever would happen. After the interview, I spent my days studying a lot, trying to learn as much as I could. When the two weeks passed, I didn’t get any news through email or WhatsApp, keeping me in suspense. However, in the following week, I received a message from the HR team informing me that I needed to gather some documents. A glimmer of hope began to emerge.
After that, I felt like a great person, I forgot about my routine islam ritual, neglected learning — I felt like the most successful person in the world. Until one day, I realized that there was no agreement letter that had reached me. One, two, three weeks passed with no further updates. Eventually, I decided to return to Gresik. This story may sound repetitive, but that’s just the way it goes.Life became a whirlwind, I immersed myself in prayers, followed every instruction from Ibuk, assisted Ayah in feeding his birds, living a life like being a student in Pesantren (A place for Muslim Boarding School in Indonesia), all the while contemplating the elusive outcome. In moments like these, Ibuk would always say,
“Be patient, you’ll surely achieve it, it’s just not the right time yet.”
That brought me an incredible sense of calm — utter tranquility. I ventured into opening again mysecond Instagram account, and the feeling was just ordinary. I began to realize that I could embrace the fact that I was unemployed. In this era, I began to introspect, realizing that I had become too reliant on others and too absorbed in “duniawi” matters.
A week passed, and there was no news. Then, in mid-October, a notification came through, announcing that I had been accepted into the company. I immediately prostrated in gratitude, and both of my parents were overjoyed.
And as I pen down these words today, approximately three months into my job, how do I feel? Content, yet somewhat indifferent. Because, once again, it’s the world we live in — ephemeral happiness.
